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Pondering the flow of life on this stuffy summer day…. as Moby spins in the background.

I miss blogging - so many things come to mind to write and explore… always at inopportune times it seems… but the truth is it probably wouldn’t matter… I don’t make the time or take the opportunities.  Even Facebook takes effort.  Twitter is the path of least resistance now.

Makes me wonder if somewhere out there there are mystics missing my voice like I miss some of theirs.  Michelle Cuthbertson, Graffiti61, Nicolas Nelson, Mixed Moss… just to name a few.  Some are silent.  Maybe their “Blog Fatigue” became permanent like mine did.  Some I think must be vocal somewhere and I have just lost the URL or they have a different one now.

On days like this I also think of things attempted and failed.  Worse, the thought of trying again now brings vision, creativity, excitment!  Those ships have long since sailed, haven’t they?  Why resurrect now long after the opportunity has been missed, lost, squandered?  Where did that come from!?!  Scarier - What does that mean?!?  I think - nope I know - that I preferred the damage and fear that usually accompanies rehashing those memories.  Sick but safe.

And now Green Day is taunting through my speakers: “I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies…”

It can be deafening when you choose to listen to everything in your environment… unsettling to realize it’s all speaking to you all the time.

~nooc

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/06/20/bbtv-a-morning-at-in-1.html

Just a quote I wanted to stick somewhere so I could remember it.  Relevant to my fledging role as Director of IT & Communications at Riverwood… which involves a lot of design work.

Rene DeHaan-Canetti, executive director of Nooma:

“You can’t separate the design from the content. If it’s not consistent, it’s detrimental. From the color palette to every single word in our films, we make sure that it’s a reflection of our choices.”

Althaiophobia is the fear of Marshmallows

It’s better to buy a $1250 laptop for $800 than a $700 laptop for $700.

A $4 latte is better than a $1 cup of undrinkable coffee.

Sometimes leading the do-ers is more valuable than leading by doing.

In the church world there is sometimes more value in bringing in a professional and paying up front than bringing in a volunteer and paying for it in the end.

nooc

I have nothing to base this on but I’m convinced it really helps in the speed and efficacy of caffeine absorption.

Just gotta express my happiness with my new laptop acquired for me for my new position at church (Director of IT & Communications)

I had always been using my own personal laptop at church the last two years I’ve been working there.  Our home PC has been going downhill though so we needed to keep the laptop at home now.  Through a most excellent contact the church aquired for me an $1800CDN laptop for $549CDN.

The details:  Toshiba Satellite MB1 - 17″ screen, full-size keyboard including number pad, Duo core processor, built-in webcam and Windows Vista Premium.  I just need to bump up the RAM since just running Vista takes up half the 1GB it came with!  What a cow!!

Oh yeah, also picked up a $69 Logitech laser mouse on sale for $15.  Gotta love being able to use your couch as a mousepad.

nooc

According to recent stats:

59% of Canadians access the internet at least once a week… highest percentage of any G7 country.*

Canadians spend more time online per month (40.8 hours) than any other country in the world. (US is 5th)*

Ergo…. Canadians download more music, spend more time blogging, use instant messengers more frequently and spend more time reading about entertainment, health and wellness online.*

What are the implications for Canadian churches?  Beyond the obvious of having a decent website.

(*sources:  IAB, ComScore, Harris Interactive - all quoted in Enterprise magazine)

Some concepts running through my little head today…

The creation of spiritual eco-systems

The applications of Superorganism Theory to the church

Inspired by the whole chicken vs egg thing… Which came first… rhetoric or reality?

The potential pros and cons of crowdsourcing as it relates to churches

How it’s maybe OK to never share the gospel unless somebody asks first… as long as you live your life in such a way that everybody asks.

…and how you can’t change squat without a whole lot of prayer.

nooc

Friend and well known fellow blogger, Anne Jackson aka www.flowerdust.net, needs your help for the exciting new book she’s writing on the all-too prevalent phenomena of staff/volunteer burnout in churches.

If you are a current/former church or ministry staffer, volunteer or spouse thereof… please take a few minutes (5-10) to fill out the survey.

Read all about this book project at www.madchurchdisease.com

Cheers,
nooc

 

OK it’s not really mine though I did make it into the end credits for my small contribution towards it.

I lead Render, a gathering of artists and creatives at Riverwood (my church).  Our film group has just completed their first comedic short film titled “Dave vs the Volcano3000“and entered it into istockphoto.com’s short film contest.  The contest concerns the pervasiveness of technology in our lives and the film is about a man trapped in his house by an ill-tempered, bean-bag-chucking security system when his wife goes away for the weekend.

We need your vote as prizes include some great film-making gear for our church!  Unfortunately there is a bit of a process to the voting since you first have to go thru a couple of steps to create a free istockphoto account in order to vote… but it’s worth it!… for us anyway. 

Click here for full instructions on creating the account and voting.  Click here to just view the film… though you will follow up and vote right?!  Right?!?

Thanks in advance!
nooc

p.s. Hope this doesn’t rock your “christian film” world too badly… but do be advised there is mild language and suggestiveness.

Watched two compelling documentaries recently. 

China Blue, a clandestinely shot expose of a blue jean factory in China

…and Black Gold, a look at the plight of Ethiopian coffee growers who receive pennies for their efforts while westerners sip $5 lattes.

 

That got me wondering if the growing success in elevating the fair trade of coffee to a moral issue could work for something like clothing coming from the third world?  Obviously there are organizations working towards this but it’s just not as sexy an issue as fair trade coffee… but why not and how could that change?

That got me pondering how many of the myriad products I consume daily in the west are linked back to similar scenarios.

That got me feeling a bit of complicity and that got me wondering what form activism in these matters should take for Christ followers, if any?  What should it look like?  Should the church lead the way and set the pace in all endeavours essential to our humanity… art, social justice, human rights, space exploration, activism, environmental issues, politics (gasp!), etc… not just endeavours essential to our christianity?

Are these two different missions… or the same one?  Is this a both/and rather than an either/or… and if so what does that balance/tension look like?

nooc

Finally spent some Christmas money last week. Picked up two brilliant DVDs that I love… Equilibrium and Ultraviolet.

HOWEVER in viewing them I was reminded of a pet peeve of mine that arises out of an odd habit of mine… watching movies in mute mode and reading the closed captioning. I’m not deaf but it really, really annoys me that while previews and the movie itself are closed captioned… the special features almost never are. Don’t they think deaf people want to watch the special features?!?

nooc

Love it or hate it, organizations tend to function in the realm of hiearchies, processes, procedures and structures. So too the “usual” expression of church. Generally speaking.

Ever re-examine your church leadership structure to try and determine if it’s effective for the growth in staff and congregation you’re experiencing and, perhaps more importantly, if it’s optimal for serving your mission? Structurally speaking there are various options to consider… from keeping the leadership structure essentially flat… to a standard hierarchy… to adopting Hybels’ “constellation of leaders” concept.

I want to hear from you. (All you church staffers represent!)

What best describes your current expression of church? (house, small, medium, mega, multi-site, don’t go at all, etc.)

What’s your context? (rural, urban, suburban, university campus, etc.)

How is your leadership structured?

Is it “working”? (however you define that)

Any innovative approaches to organizing the staff of a church that you’ve come across?

I’m listening.

nooc

A little update on my health issues… last blood tests showed that my thyroid numbers were back down to “normal”, drastically de-motivating my doctor to pursue exactly what’s going on with my health.  She did send me for a CT scan of my abdomen due to my unexplainable weight loss… 15lbs in 4 months with no change in my diet or lifestyle.  Just got back from that but there won’t be results for about a week.

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My coffee consumption is inching it’s way back up.  I’m now at about 4-5 cups per week.  I’m trying to feel guilty about it.

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My Grandma passed away two weeks ago.  She was 89.  My Grandpa is 90.  They were married 67 years!  Her loss hurts and I hurt for my Grandpa who has no concept of life without her.

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Spent last Sunday/Monday booked into a local hotel with pool and waterslides with our best friends Evan and Nichole and their kids.  They rock.  Everybody should have best friends like them.

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We had our small group over last night.  We’re all so busy and stressed.  Is this how we’re really supposed to live our lives?!?

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Been dwelling on this sentence from the book I’m currently (still) reading called Breaking the Missional Code:  “In a missional context, individuals often begin the discipling process long before conversion.”

Joy to you,
nooc

• In November I transitioned from full-time to half-time in my Urban Missionary role at Riverwood, due to the amount of support I raised.  Surprisingly it was very difficult to continue doing full-time ministry in part-time hours… but I’m trying!
• At the end of November a very wise friend suggested that if I take another part-time job to make up the difference in income… that it should be non-ministry related so that it didn’t draw on the same resources and capacity I needed to focus on the ministry at Riverwood.  I didn’t listen.
• At the beginning of December I accepted a part-time position with Agape Table.  A soup kitchen serving the homeless, poor and addicted in Winnipeg’s infamous West End.  I was responsible for volunteer training and supervision, “floor” supervision, building relationships with the guests, helping with every area of logistics involved in providing food service to an average of 250 people in two hours, every weekday morning.  I also partnered with my general manager in breaking up fights and dealing with medical and “bio-hazard” situations.  These situations occurred fairly regularly due to the fact that Agape Table received guests with open doors and hearts that were kicked out of other soup kitchens.
• It was the most intense thing I’ve done and I jumped in with both feet.  This worked for the month of December since it was a slow month for me in terms of my committments at Riverwood.
• It stopped working in January when my ministry at Riverwood ramped back up to normal (read: intense)  levels.
• By mid-January I was ill most of the time, rarely able to work at either ministry and had profound anxiety.  I was rapidly losing the ability to cope with the stress and pressure I was experiencing and even had a full-blown panic attack which I had never experienced before despite intense ministry situations in the past.
• By beginning of February I completely burnt out and had to quit Agape Table.  A very hard decision.  Felt like a quitter.
• The physical and mental health effects of that period are ongoing.  It feels like a very long, slow journey back.  So slow I often question whether I’m moving forward at all.  A trip to the doctor has eliminated the more scarier possibilities (I was exposed to TB, hepatitis, HIV/AIDS, etc at Agape Table).  Heart, blood pressure and cholesterol were all fine.
• Tests did reveal unexplained weight-loss and a slightly under-functioning thyroid.  These are being followed up on.  Unfortunately I’m having to push my usually excellent doctor on this… I’m getting the vibe she thinks it’s all in my head.  Stress can impact one’s thyroid… sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently.
• I know adjusting my lifestyle in terms of exercise and eating habits could help… but when you are in depression or mentally struggling… even taking simple steps in those areas can feel too overwhelming.
• I have cut back to one or two cups of coffee A WEEK!  Which I’m pretty sure is the bare minimum for retaining your eternal salvation.
• As hard as this season is, my ministry at Riverwood is growing in effectiveness and fruitfulness.  The more broken I become, the more God seems to move.  How great is my God!  Many well-intentioned people want me to get better.  So do I.  But there is also something in this that I need to embrace because I can feel God breaking me, crushing me, refining me in His fire.  I’m dying but surviving.  But I currently do not yet see a light at the end of this tunnel.
• I’m trying to restrict my hours at Riverwood to what they are supposed to be and trying to get rest and eliminate stress and try and move towards some semblance of normalcy and health since I will have to try and pick up something part-time so we can survive financially.

You are now pretty up-to-date on my life.  I have good days and bad days in terms of physical/mental health.  There are dark days but lots of days that have periods of joy, peace and a sense of intimacy with God.

And so I remain nooc.

Since I’ve been gone so long I thought I’d re-surface with a really low-key and innocuous topic:

 How Canadians can save the American church (written by an American) - Thanks to Jamie for the link and related post.

For further reading check out Lon’s recent post on the cultural differences of our two great nations from a church planting perspective.

And if you care to taste some good ol’ fashioned canadian satire… feel free to re-visit My Walk to Starbucks that I posted a year ago.

What do you think?

nooc

Most of us talk the talk, he walked the walk.

Today is the funeral of Winnipeg’s Harry Lehotsky. It will be crowded with a vast array of lives… from top politicians and dignitaries to the homeless. A preacher and community activist that put up mock advertisments for crack houses in his neighbourhood to draw very unwanted attention to their locations… and lived with the resulting death threats.

Michael Bennet of Winnipeg gives a better synopsis than I could:

Winnipeg mourns the passing of Reverend Harry Lehotsky who died recently from pancreatic cancer. Although small in stature, Lehotsky was a fierce activist for Winnipeg’s inner city poor; he fought passionately for the rights of the down trodden, the helpless, the hungry, and the invisible of our city’s infamous West-End. He built homes from derelict booze cans and crack houses. He established the cheerful and inviting Ellice Avenue Cafe and Theatre right smack in the heart of the meanest of our streets. He walked those same streets night after night and confronted drug dealers, gangs, and johns. He advocated tirelessly for the creation of playgrounds and safe social venues for children and teens. He fought for green spaces amongst the boarding houses and rundown apartments. He removed graffiti and cleared the gutters of needles and condoms. In short, Reverend Lehotsky walked the talk as well as the beat; he gave hope to the hopeless, love to the unloved, and food to the hungry. He also pissed off many a politician, some of whom quickly learned to sit up straight and listen when Harry spoke!

When asked about his diagnosis by CBC’s, Terry MacLeod in May, 2006 Harry replied “Oh, man, you think, ‘Why me?’ and then the next thing you think is, ‘Why not me? What makes me different from anybody else?’ There’s mothers and fathers, daughters and sons that die of cancer and so many other things. I mean, we’re all finite. So I think about that if God chooses to do a miracle, that’d be awesome and I’d be very pleased and thankful. If not, what I’ve been living for my whole life is just the ability to meet Him one day and for Him to say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’”
Rest well Harry, good and faithful servant. You will be missed.

Rest in peace and party with passion, Harry.

nooc

Here’s a quick update from the crazy life of me:  (Thanks Mel and V. for kickin my blog butt)

* The “autumn that is” is getting close to the autumn that was… had our first snow on the ground this morning.  Drove through a blizzard yesterday on our 13 hour drive back down from northern Saskatchewan to visit Sherry’s family for canadian Thanksgiving.

* October 15th is my support raising deadline.  33% is what I need to have to even have the position of “Urban Missionary” here.  Whatever I get by the 15th is what the leadership here will restrict my hours to.  ie:  If I raise 1/3 I will drop from my current full time to 1/3 time and need to get a part time job, if I get 1/2 my support I can work here 1/2 time etc.  I’m pretty close to getting the 33% now but this week will be where it all falls together… or falls apart… which I’m not scared of… well maybe a little bit… but I know He has a plan either way.

*  The first event I led for young adults was a smash!  We did a cafe crawl (my version of a pub/bar crawl).  I’m currently pulling together a lead team so I don’t have to do everything myself and can get a little freed up from logistics to crank up the missionality aroud here.

* Riverwood continues to buck the local trend by growing.  We continue to get media attention which has been really positive… apart from them latching on to our moniker as the ugliest church in Winnipeg.  We have our first “third service” this Saturday evening.  This will be a challenge, and hopefully a blessing, to the young adult ministry as we have to now work our Saturday evening events around this new service.

* I’ve also (after literally years of scheming and dreaming) launched an arts group here at Riverwood called “Render”.  www.riverwood.cc/render  First gathering went great… lots of hunger for this kind of artistic community here.  Already had an invite from a new cutting edge local gallery to explore some sort of working relationship.

* Currently reading “Exiles”, “Breaking the Missional Code”, and “Art & Fear”.  Next up is a translation of the New Testament based on bible numerics.

That’s it for now…

nooc

17 of us squeezed into a circle of couches in the loft of The Park Cafe. Sherry is on the left.

Just a quick note that I am in the middle of an unexpected but much-needed vacation…. pastor’s orders… or at least strongly encouraged.  This is a good thing.  I think it is pulling me back from the edge of a burn-out that I didn’t see coming…or more accurately wouldn’t allow myself to see coming.  Fortunately my pastor had the discernment I was lacking.  Being under “pastor’s orders” has made it easier for me to give myself permission to detach and disconnect and take a vacation without feeling as much guilt as I usually would.  I struggle with this.

Anyway I will post on the vacation exploits soon… but I have re-attached long enough in the last two days (and tomorrow morning) to be taking in the leadership summit.  Loving it as always though for various reasons too numerous to mention that don’t always have to do with the speakers/sessions per se.

Just wondering if anyone else caught the Bono/Hybels interview today and what you thought about it?

nooc

“If you don’t learn how to deal with pressure you will never live the life you were created to live.”  ~Erwin McManus

If I may be candid for a moment… coping well with pressure seems to be my greatest struggle and weakness in ministry and life in general.  The colleagues in ministry I bump into that in their pressure-filled roles speak escapist language and dream escapist dreams… in them I see a reflection of my own tendencies to escape, run, hide and live a lesser life. 

 

Then there are those in my life who have been utterly damaged by pressure.  The casualties.  Resigned to being “done” after having tried and failed to survive pressure.  Now even just the slightest pressure is crushing to them… beyond their capacity to cope.  In them I fear how I may end up. 

How do you cope with the pressure of job, ministry, finances, life in general?  Do you tend towards escapism?  Or do you thrive?

nooc

Had to share a bit about my oldest daughter Kathryn. She’s 7. I’ve just been fascinated lately with what’s going on in that pretty head of hers.

Kathryn sometimes leaves me completely unsure of how to respond…

a couple of weeks ago Kathryn looked me straight in the eye and said “It’s my fault and I’m OK with that.”

I remember being very proud of her but thinking I probably shouldn’t be. At any rate I was stumped.

Kathryn is very logical…

Kathryn has a heart of worship…

A week ago we came back from church and she declared she wanted to write a song and disappeared upstairs for quite a while. This is what she wrote:

Walking in the desert with my Looord
I bileve that your real in my life and vison
Witout your kindness I would’nt be alive
So thank you thank you for making the earth
without nature the earth would be dead
So we just say thank you! Thank you!
Thank you my looord! Lord! My Lord!

I love that kid. I tell her often.

nooc

Finally updated my Urban Missionary blog.  Posted reflections on the last 6 months of ministry, and a look ahead to the next year of ministry for Sherry and I.  Check it out if you got a minute.

cheers,
nooc

As the final week of my 6 month ministry term drew nigh my 11th hour Jesus answered the praying and seeking of Sherry and I.  The leadership here at Riverwood has given me a new one year term to continue this amazing ministry to amazing people alongside amazing staff!

So much of what we’ve done has been experimental, beta-mode foundation building so I’m thrilled to be able to build on that in the coming year… take it all to the next level and witness more of the dreams and visions come to pass.  I’m thrilled to have a chance to continue and grow our “Cafe of the Dead” events.

I’m thrilled with the possibilty (emphasis on possibilty) of developing our new venue into a full-fledged community outreach cafe and… dare I say… Vox hot spot.

I don’t have high expectations of this coming year…. all I want is to do the impossible at every turn, have a relationship with God so intimate that it incapacitates me, bring community to the lonely, reality to the blind, distress to the comfortable, Jesus to the hurting, pull the kingdom of darkness out of this community by it’s roots, change the world and save the universe.  For starters.

Rooooaaaar!

nooc

 
p.s. Should clarify this is a faith venture not a paid position. So we’ll be raising support for this coming year of ministry as Urban Missionaries. Please pray! …and let me know if you want to contribute.

A gadget

Every once in awhile something comes along that is so brilliant you can’t believe it hasn’t been done before. Behold the faucet that indicates the temperature of the water using LCD lights. Very sexy.

 

 

A blog

Some of the churches that are involved in Love Winnipeg are dipping their toes into the blogosphere and posting their experiences on the Love Winnipeg blog. I especially like the little graphic my pastor put up to encourage another pastor to try out blogging…. and how Love Winnipeg showed up in Nepal.

 

 

Why I’m reading ‘Mega Shift’…

I have a philosophy in reading where I will throw books into my reading mix that I know in advance are from the fringes of what I might consider or agree with. I do this to keep myself balanced… or unbalanced… and keep myself exposed to perspectives and views outside the range of my current views or favourite authors so as to avoid tunnel vision. I recommend this practice… if you’re able to read with an open mind.

 

 

‘Mega Shift’ is from a very charismatic viewpoint. It’s a great read. The author is quite humourous and self-deprecating alongside equal doses of the typical charismatic language and bravado. Mega Shift essentially examines the explosive growth of Christians and churches in non-western countries and usually through charismatic or pentecostal minstries… and the corresponding increase in occurances of documented miracles… particularly resurrections from the dead. Whatever negative emotional reaction you had to that last sentence… there must have been at least a little sense of intrigue buried somewhere in there.

One gem:

“…at the rate we’re growing now, to be comically precise, there would be more christians than people by the autumn of 2032.”

Apart from reading it to expand my horizon, it’s estimated that by 2010, the ratio of non-western evangelicals to western evangelicals will be 7 to 1. So I read both with curiosity as well as with a realization that it might perhaps be helpful (and maybe even non-optional) to find out how the most predominant form of doing church on the planet will look like. We can only insulate ourselves for so long, fellow westerners. There’s a whole non-western church out there that we don’t usually hear about…

where a 30-year-old peasant farmer in China with a cell phone oversees 30,000 full-time church planters …

where christians in Cambodia grew from 200 to 400,000 in 14 years…

where 2 sisters in China who became believers were embarrassed and ashamed to admit they only started 29 churches in 2 years - the largest of which has 5,000 members…

so you might want to read up on what’s coming down the pike…like it or not.

Has anybody else read this? What did you think?

nooc

Yesterday was June 1st. That was a bit of a wake up for me.

You see my 6 month term as Urban Missionary ends June 30th. I haven’t been giving that little fact any headspace because I’ve been so immersed in the ministry…. after all at least it’s not June yet.

But now it’s June.

And the headspace has carved itself out in a corner of my mind. So the praying and pondering and seeking begins afresh. The adventure renews. Faith and fear, trust and terror, assurance and uncertainty get reaquainted. Ideally I want to find a way to continue the ministry I’m currently doing…we’ve come far and accomplished much and laid so much groundwork that I want to build upon…. but I know I have to hold it loosely.

All I know for sure is that I can’t go back to ordinary… I can’t go back to mediocrity. I am still a happy casualty of the influence of this mystic community.

That doesn’t mean I won’t consider a regular job… but it would have to be strategic… temporary… a means to an end.

So Lord… what shall we do next?

nooc

If you have even a passing interest (as I do) in observing the sociology of our culture through the futurist glasses of the mystic…. you have to be fascinated with the Brookers phenomenon… especially from the perspective of the implications or opportunities (if any) of this (or any) cultural phenomenon for the church.

 

 

For the uninitiated, Brookers is the screen name of a young girl who has raised a cult following (in the cultural not religious sense) by doing something she loves to do… submit quirky videos of herself on YouTube. Sure she’s been trashed but she’s continued despite the critics because… she just loves to do it. And now she has a contract in hand from MTV2 and Carson Daly Productions.

See her “thank you to her fans” video here: Everything Changes

Her raw emotions when she gives tribute to her father… just being real and being herself… is part of what made her so popular.

Are there lessons here for us? In understanding what this culture values? In the use of technology? In perceiving shifts in the definition of pop culture? In being yourself?  In the explosion of YouTube in general?

What do you think?

nooc

Friday…

Took another crack at young adult community drop-in cafe (The Mix)… Hardly anybody showed up from our people (except for Blair & Missy - Thanks guys!) and nobody came from the community. [sigh] On the upside the music was really good! Great jazz in the first set from C-Bert and Dilbert and the second set was edgy folk by Matt Epp. Just wish they had an audience to play to!

The day ended on a high though, as Sherry and I headed downtown around 11:30 to the Outworks gallery for the opening of “Fever” which our dear friend Amy E had a photograph in (best piece in the show, by the way)

Saturday…

Had a unique experience. Was the guest speaker for another church’s young adult event. Was much more sermon-like than the discussion format I usually use at Stir. So I was nervous but it was fun to stretch myself and do something new… and to meet great young adults from another church. Had really positive feedback on the talk. In fact I got an honourarium which I wasn’t expecting… my first thought was “Wow… I am an official guest speaker now!”… my second thought was “Man I wish I’d done a better job for them!”

Sunday…

Just got to sit back and take it in. It was pulpit exchange Sunday where 26 pastors from around the city trade pulpits with each other for the morning. The “import” we got did a great job though we’re about 3x the size of his regular church. Didn’t miss a beat when a thunderstorm blacked out the sanctuary for the last 10 min of his sermon… in fact it totally enhanced the sermon illustration he was in the middle of… which was to have a brave volunteer hold a dart board while he was about to throw darts at it.

Pulpit exchange is part of our annual 3 weeks of Love Winnipeg. (Recognize Sherry and I on the main graphic?  - I made that site but didn’t choose that pic.) Love Winnipeg… 26 pastors… baptists preaching to charismatics… pentecostals preaching to conservatives…. mainline to non-denominational and vice verse. Love Winnipeg… 78 churches becoming 1 church - the church of Winnipeg - for three weeks and taking to the streets of their neighbourhoods to express the love of God. I love Winnipeg. I love Love Winnipeg. I love “the church” in Winnipeg. How sweet it is when brothers dwell in unity.

nooc

Many of you may have seen this already… but it bears repeating…

 

[oops… can’t embed youtube??]

view it here in the meantime: King of the Hill goes church shopping

 

Also a very interesting link:  thunderstruck

nooc

I’m not talking Le Monde here… I’m talking:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bought one a few weeks ago… it seems to take a knack as this morning was the first good cup of coffee I’ve gotten out of this thing in 5 or 6 tries.  But when I say good I mean worth the 5 or 6 tries!

We’re a pretty coffee-centric bunch here in the voxtropolis.  Wonder if anyone else has an opinion on brewing with these?  Or better yet, tried and tested tips or tricks that will cut down the learning curve for us French Press newbies.

The instructions I found online here were what finally gave me a good cup out of this thing.

nooc

p.s.  2 posts in one day!  That’s how you know I’m REALLY procrastinating on other stuff.

Well.  Not so new… I have always appreciated his versatility and acting in widely diverse roles.  From Twister, Patch Adams and Punch Drunk Love to Almost Famous and the infamous “shart” scene in Along Came Polly.

So Sherry and I rented Capote recently and I once again was amazed by his acting.  Then we watch the special features and they’re talking about how they filmed it in Winnipeg.  WHAT?!?  How did I not know that!?!

 

 

So I go to see MI:III on Monday and there he is again… playing his role superbly.  Then after I’m reading an interview he did for MI:III where the reporter (from Houston) asked what it was like filming Capote in the “isolation” of Winnipeg?

His response:  “Actually, Winnipeg is amazing.”

yesssss!

 

Friday, May 5th is the second “Cafe of the Dead” I’m leading.  I started the first one by “taking our pulse” at the start of our journey together.  There was much intense discussion regarding what our current understanding of dying to ourselves really meant.  I was looking for a baseline, setting a marker at the start of the journey that we could compare to and look back upon to see if new discovery, understandings or insights would produce any sort of shift over time.

I’m still open to the experiment of you fellow voxies (as in “homies”… or the recently popular “churchies”… yes the kids are saying that) submitting a short vid of yourselves giving a blurb about your take on the subject.  See here for more details/format.  There’s one more Cafe of the Dead in a month if this Friday seems a bit quick to pull your thoughts together.

Or you can throw your 2 cents in here on some of the questions we’ll be chewing on….

(references: 2 Corinthians 4:10, Mark 8:34, Romans 6:2-8, Galatians 2:19-20, Philippians 1:20-22, Colossians 2:20)

Why do we have to die?  Why does Jesus require us to die to ourselves?  What is it about following Him that we can only do or experience while dead?  Especially when I see me (and, to be blunt, all those around me) getting by just fine and living a spiritual Christian life without taking it to that level.  Sacrificing some… maybe even most… just not all.  What does “all” look like?  (No “it’s different for everyone” answers allowed.  If you need it to be subjective to wrap your head around it then: what does it look like to you or for you?  Despite individual differences there must be marks of this death that are common to all)  Have we ever even seen anybody actually living this out? (or “dying this out” I guess).

In the accent of that “vaklempt” Mike Myers character from old SNL:  Discuss.

The first iteration of The Mix came and went this past Friday. Thanks to those who prayed.

First: the good stuff…

The event went really, really well. Things came together well and in some instances pretty much miraculously. We had the most Riverwood young adults out that we’ve ever had at a single event. Kristie and Roshonna did an awesome job with the live music.

Second: the tough stuff…

Only three people from the community came. I know, I know… my attitude should be AWESOME! 3 PEOPLE CAME! I’ll get there. Everyone else around me had that attitude. They had taken to heart  (better than I had) my pre-event encouragement that this is the first time we’re doing this… whatever happens we will build on for the next one… we’ll learn some great things from this.  And it’s all true and I’ll get there.  But if you’ve ever put yourself out there and poured yourself out and given much to painstakingly create something… with all the hopes, dreams and visions that entails…. and have so few show up… you understand my dissappointment.

Plus I couldn’t get my camera to take decent pics.

Third:  good stuff, part 2…

It was SO good to get this first one under our belt.  And yes, we learned tonnes that will benefit us for the next one.  And even though few showed it was great to see that we could actually do this and be prepared for so many more.

It also has challenged my ministry in a positive way in terms of re-thinking how best to connect and impact the young adults in the surrounding community.  I can’t sit in my office and send out flyers and expect them to just come to me.  I’ve got to get out there.  Not sure what that will look like yet.

I’m not the first in ministry to experience this sort of a lack of response to something worked so hard on… and I won’t be the last.  This is normal.  If you have two failures for every success, you’re actually ahead of the curve.  If somebody reading this now has a similar experience in the future… it would be a great joy to me if they remembered this post and were strengthened in their dissappointment.

And I get to experience dissappointment and, in my eyes, failure.  Yes I consider this a positive.  Very much so.  All of life is a classroom if you let it be.  And I get to experience God in this.  Teaching me and changing me.  Maybe you think failure is a bit harsh.  I know there were many successes in that evening.  Let me give you a glimpse of my heart:  I feel failure over every young adult from Riverwood that hasn’t connected to Stir yet.  I feel failure over every young adult from the neighbourhood that didn’t come to The Mix on Friday.  Resist the urge to set me straight, however gently and lovingly.  I eagerly embrace the breaking of my heart over those God has called me to love.  It is what it is and God and I are having an amazing discussion about it.

After all I am nooc.  Yet He is using me.  Thus I am alive.

months of building from scratch… massive learning curves… miraculous provision of missionary support… attempting the impossible (for me anyway) at every turn… blood, sweat and more tears than I care to confess to…  did I mention the panic attacks?

It’s happening.  One of the dreams for the young adult ministry I started in November takes a tentative step into reality this Friday, April 28th at 7:30pm.  This is when we stretch beyond ourselves as a group that has been getting to know each other and starting to grow together… and invite the young adults in the neighbourhood around us in to “The Mix” for a taste of the life and community we enjoy.  2000 flyers went out.  Did some more inviting this week.  Still some miracles needed by Friday.  Send up a prayer for us.

I first became aware of Shane Claiborne through a Christianity Today article last Fall… the same issue that my random obscure church got mentioned in. 

So I picked up his book, The Irresistable Revolution last Monday (along with Velvet Elvis - which I read in half a day - The Irresistable Revolution took me a few days longer).

I did my best to disagree with, disregard, reject, write off and rationalize away 90% of the book (I’m exagerrating) but even if your successful at that the remaining 10% is still more than enough to mess you up.

I really need to process the implications of what I’ve read so I won’t dive into it right now but I’m curious if anybody out there has read it and what your thoughts/reactions were?

Love it or hate it, I would suggest this required reading for every mystic

nooc

p.s.  Part of what made it so dangerous was how it reminds you of the danger of the MOST dangerous book.

My Own Personal Easter

2 weeks ago I worked a 72.5 hour week at church. Some of you… perhaps who don’t work at a church… may be thinking that’s nuts. Some of you… perhaps who do work at a church… may be thinking “suck it up princess… that’s a slow week!”.

Well for me it was too much… sort of. After the 8 hour day on Saturday to end the week I was exhausted but felt like I had survived. I was wrong. Sunday morning the awareness and the effect came. I hadn’t just given out alot… I had given out everything. All the light, hope, energy, passion… everything good in me… gone. I wasn’t just empty… the void was in the negative… a vacuum.

Emotionally, mentally, physically I sank into darkness. Yet I can’t regret it. Because I discovered He still whispers there… and it’s so magnified and echoing and teeth-rattling when there’s none of “you” left inside to absorb/redirect/distort/slow it’s vibration. And I began to recognize another sound I haven’t heard in awhile. My roar. It’s different now. It’s changed from this experience. It’s a little less tame… a little more savage… a little more tender. It scares me a bit but I think I like how it sounds.

I can’t regret the rawness because of how real it made me feel and the brutally honest thoughts it produced… thoughts unhindered by the common desire to “think positively”.

I can’t regret it because it took me to a new and scary level of deadness. This put me in the resurrection position… perhaps the spiritual equivalent of the fetal position… the potential of it is tangible and He has already begun drawing me into newness.

About this same time I had a thought that I hadn’t had before… Jesus had to die… but He didn’t have to rise again. There could be no forgiveness without the shedding of blood. The Lamb had to be sacrificed. The penalty had to be paid. “It is finished”. And it was. Everything was fulfilled. You theologians please feel free to prove me wrong but in that moment I couldn’t think of any legal requirement to rise again… save the obvious fact that Jesus said He would. But there was nothing pending, nothing outstanding, nothing undone. Our salvation was complete. So what was the point of rising again?

Fear not… I’m not slipping into heresy… the reasons for, and benefits of, the resurrection of the Christ are myriad. But have you ever thought them through before from the perspective of the apparent lack of a technical need for Christ to rise again?

I am. And God seems to be more showing me then telling me. Through my own current state of deadness and the process of resurrection He is working in me.

Through a supernatural moment in one of our Easter services when He thinned the veil between the spiritual and the physical for a brief moment that I might glimpse the “one song”. For a moment I could “see” the song as well as hear it. The tune of the parking attendants and ushers, the melody of actors and techies, the lilt of every coffee server and toilet scrubber in our church all coalescing with His voice to form one visible sound, one eye-pleasing harmony. The song of His way. His being. His purpose. His agenda.

The song of His work of reconciliation and restoration through Riverwood. Played by the instruments of every common act of service and sacrifice made by so many within my Riverwood family. And in that moment was a wordless and very personal invitation from Him for me to join in again. To raise my voice in the One Song again. To sing. Not so much because I’m needed… but because I am wanted.

This was my Easter.

Do you feel the darkness tremble
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokenness
~Martin Smith

hey vox’ers, (voxians? voxites?)

In my weekly cafe ministry to young adults (which is going amazing/hardest thing I’ve ever done, btw - sorry I never update) I am doing several events called “cafe of the dead“.  (first one is this Friday)

Essentially we (hopefully) will be wrestling through the concept of what it means and what it looks like to die to ourselves and live for Him, 2 Corinth 4:10, etc.  The core element of the evening will be an intensive look at passages from the bible that relate to this.  Other possible elements of these evenings will be looking at other references, historical examples, people’s stories, prayers that are almost too dangerous to pray, etc.

Where you come in

I thought it might be interesting for my young adults (and for me) to hear from you whom I refer to as my blog family on these matters.

I am looking for anyone out there who feels they might have something to say on this, and has access to a vid camera, to do a few minutes (or more) of video of yourself giving us your two cents worth.  Essentially a video podcast kind of idea.  Send me the file or link and we’ll incorporate it into our cafe of the dead.

Format

Give a greeting to me (Greg) and Stir (our young adults here at Riverwood).

Introduce yourself, tell us where you’re from and what you do.

Talk for as long or as little as you want about dying to self/risk/giving it all etc.  It could be some comments on relevant scripture, it could be your own story of wrestling with the concept of dying to self, it could simply be your gut feeling on the topic.  If you had 5 minutes to try and influence and inspire a group of young adults… what would you say?  What keeps you up at night?  Maybe it’s not even directly related to our topic but has something to do with risk, adventure and sacrifice as followers of Jesus.  Say it and see what happens!

Timeline:  It would be great to have at least one by this Friday, April 7th but I understand this is short notice.  Future cafes of the dead are the first Friday in May and the first Friday in June.

Thanks for considering this.

Greg

edit: bump

Horrendously offensive.
Horrendously poignant.
Horrendously funny.

And only available for a limited time.

You’ve been warned.  Click here: http://www.themcpassion.com/

…it takes awhile to load depending on the viewing size you choose.

nooc

I have nothing against Rob Bell. Really!        

But I confess that I have a tendancy to be initially over-critical/skeptical of anyone introduced to me with some hype surrounding them. The most notable instance of this for me being Hybels/Willow. It took me about 10min into the first session of my first leadership summit to repent. That summit ended up being a defining moment in my leadership growth…. and actually directly started a chain of events that ended up with my involvement in iMosaic, ergo Vox, and eating Thai with Alex and Niza in the shade of their front lawn. So yay Hybels!

Enter friends enthusiastically hyping these new nooma dvd’s. I rarely learn from past lessons. My Rob Bell wall was up and stayed in place for many moons. Even as it weakened in my ministry to young adults as we watched a number of the noomas… I tried to remain cool towards the guy… quick to critique.

Then Anne posts about that part of his book where he talks about killing superpastor. That resonates big time with me.

Then I come across this quote of his (don’t really care if it’s original to him) and that seals it…

“My theory of church growth is simple,” said Bell, “People drive a long way to see a fire.”

Forgive me, Rob Bell.

I look forward to what I may learn from you now that my wall is down.

nooc

(James Frey version) 

I’m guessing a walk to Starbucks in Winnipeg is a little different than in other parts of the world so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon and chronicle mine.

Looking back at my igloo as I leave.  (It’s a long way so I usually leave at dawn)

I go past my neighbours, Jill and Jack Frost.  I see Jack is getting an early start on planting the flower beds!  He’s crazy.  He really should wait another week or so.

Unfortunately as the day lightens up the wind picks up!

Almost downtown… just one more urban obstacle to scale.

 

Up and over takes me to the historic entrance to the downtown district.

This is the first thing you see as you enter downtown.  He’s been frozen there for almost three years now.  People used to complain to the city but now he’s pretty much just accepted as part of the local colour.  Kind of like graffiti.

Ah downtown.  Some of these igloos date back to the nineteenth century.  I love the city.

Main street gets a little crazy at rush hour though!

The Starbucks is a few blocks past downtown so I usually hop on the public transit for the last bit.

Our Starbucks tends to pack out so the parking lot is always full.

 

It’s dusk but I made it!!  Here I am trying to see if I can find a free table. 

I usually stay the night and then walk back the next day.  To see that walk chronicled just scroll back up slowly and read the comments and view the pics in the reverse order.

nooc

So that’s what it feels like.  It’s left me with yucky feelings on the inside on a couple of levels.  Mad, offended, frustrated, seething. How dare they?!?!Grrrrrr.

It would be just like God (wouldn’t it?) to, after I wrote the “make me deader” post, bring experiences into my life to accentuate how much deader I need to be.

I witnessed a traffic accident on the way to church this morning.  I saw everything.  I was running late but I stopped.  Just a fender-bender.  The guy in the Ford was clearly at fault, the lady in the pickup clearly wasn’t… although I confess sympathy for the guy because she was going 10-15km under the speed limit and holding up traffic.  I might have tried to pass her too.  But the accident was still his fault and that’s what I will tell the insurance company when they call.

I wrote out my name and phone number twice and handed it to each driver.  In that situation I don’t get into what I saw or who I think is at fault.  I just give my number… tell them to give it to autopac (the insurance company)… and I’ll tell autopac my story.

The guy in the Ford was appreciative I stopped.  He thanked me.  I gave him a pen so he could exchange info with the lady.  He was grateful.  He was the one at fault.

The lady was not at fault.  She was the victim.  I felt sorry for her that she had an accident because Ford guy got impatient and drove rashly.  The first words out of her mouth to me:  “you aren’t going to lie are you?”  Her voice was raised.  I was so taken aback.  I sputtered “why would I lie??”  It seemed so illogical to me… I’m an honest guy… I don’t know either of them… what would I possibly gain from lying?… it just didn’t make sense to me… I was confused.  Still not wanting to take sides in the middle of the situation I reiterated I would tell autopac exactly what I saw.

She became more and more agitated and was practically yelling “Don’t lie about it! - Are you going to lie??”.  Now I was getting mad - why would she instantly assume I would lie??  I was getting so offended and raising my voice a little myself “Why would I lie???  Why would I lie???”  I think I started waving my arms up and down too.

Then she said it.  “Don’t lie just because I’m Ashinabe!”  In a flash I realized some things that I honest-to-God hadn’t noticed right until that moment.  The Ford guy was white.  I was white.  She was native.  She was obviously visibly native but I had not noticed.  I had only seen people not race until she said that.  She was accusing me of being racist but actually she was being racist.  She assumed I would lie because I was white and I would stick with the white Ford guy.

I wasn’t just offended…I was hurt. I drove the rest of the way to church just shaking with anger. I can honestly say I don’t remember the drive. I’m not even sure how I got here. My colleagues at church let me vent. Let me be angry.

I feel yucky about how she offended me but I feel more yucky about how long I stayed angry. I mean I’m deader than that right? I work at a church for pete’s sake - aren’t I more sanctified than this?!

I feel yucky for the racism she must have experienced in her life that has hurt her and made her suspicious of me.

She just called me 2 hours later to apologise for getting mad at me. She said she didn’t realise I worked at a church (not sure what she meant be that), She’s second guessing herself in the accident.  She thinks maybe she was driving too cautious.  Maybe she signalled wrong.  The Ford guy made her feel bad that she was going too slow.  He made sure to tell her how much his car was worth.  (Her pickup was old and of the appearance that fender-benders probably actually improved it’s looks).  She’s worried her husband will get mad at her.  She apologised again.

I could have made sure she knew how much she upset me and offended me.  I could have rightly and righteously shown her how her accusations made HER the racist, not me.  I could have informed her that my wife spoke Cree as a first language when she was a kid growing up in a family that sacrificed everything to pour out their lives in ministry to remote reserves all over Canada.  I could have let her know that long before political correctness my dad raised me tolerant in the midst of uncles who’d spout slurs against natives.  That my dad had trained and worked alongside natives on the reserves and in the city and had always had a heart for their struggle and always shown them respect and dignity.  They all considered him their friend.

I told her it was no problem.  I told her I forgave her.  I hung up and cried a bit.  Oh God make me deader.

nooc

Wired news had an interesting article on a virtual lecture and book signing at a virtual location where the presenter and attendees all show up dressed in their “avatar suits” (represented digitally by their avatars).

Mystic warriors might have a few things to say about this quote from the article:

“We should really be comparing online contact to no contact,” he said. “The online relationships that are really flourishing are the ones between people who have no possibility of being in physical contact.”

Of course my mind automatically wanders to the future and how that might look…. Will you be given emoticon-like looks of dissapproval for showing up at your virtual online church in an avatar that’s too casually dressed?

Do you spring for the “contemporary” upgrade so your avatar can raise it’s hands during virtual worship or are you stuck with your cross-armed, dark-suited conservative avatar with the furrowed virtual brow?

The ultimate, though, is to get the pomo version 2.0 download and deck your avatar out in a goatee, square glasses, a hemp hat and sandals. I hear version 3.0 will even have the option of a virtual Treo, iPod and mac laptop for your emergent avatar. Of course, you’ll have to cut back on your paypal tithe just a tad to be able to afford that!

(Did I mention satire is a Canadian past-time?)

I have enough trouble dressing myself in a manner that avoids embarrassment, never mind actually looking stylish …I dread a future of having to dress my avatar as well.

Don’t mind my deranged ramblings…. after all… I’m no one of consequence.

“I can’t die dead enough” ~Megadeth

When it comes to dying to myself…. sacrificing…. pouring my life out for the sake of the Kingdom… to paraphrase Erwin McManus: dying up front so God can take me where only dead people can go…. when it comes to giving it all… laying it all down… doing what it takes…

…I can’t die dead enough.

nooc

(inspired by Niza’s post)

How do I die deader?
It must be in here somewhere!

edit: bump!

“I’ll never forget whats-her-name!”

~me, yesterday

“When you study natural science and the miracles of creation, if you don’t turn into a mystic you are not a natural scientist…” 

Albert Hofmann at the conference, LSD: Problem Child and Wonder Drug, an International Symposium on the Occasion of the 100th Birthday of Albert Hofmann, referring to the many scientists and engineers who claim heightened creativity, problem-solving and scientific discovery when under the influence of LSD.

That is Riverwood’s unofficial title. The ministries flowing out of this place have been noted in Christianity Today magazine, the Christian Week/Christian Current publications, numerous local community newspapers, and featured on 100 Huntley Street, a nationally broadcast (in Canada) television program.

All this from a former door manufacturing building that still has essentially the same exterior it did then… thus our nickname.

After 5 years we may actually gussy it up a bit this spring. Of course, we said that last spring too.

Greg

p.s. I still get a script error when trying to add a pic to a post… and when inserting a hyperlink.

I get this when I click on the pic icon.

Here am I at church:

…trying my darndest to put Winnipeg on the map!!!!

I feel like a rock star today.

A rock star with a head cold.

Just thought I’d share that.

Happy to be here!

Greg from Winnipeg

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